Jumping To Conclusions

Some people have suggested that Americans who go to Iraq to serve as so-called human shields should be considered traitors to the United States. But, really, shouldn't mental retardation be a defense to the charge of treason? Because if you listen to what these people say, they're really far too stupid to be prosecuted.

"They have shown us a number of sites and one of them was this power station," said Godfrey Meynell, a 68-year-old antiwar activist from Britain. "I have been pushing for this site because it seems to me that if the electricity is cut, then water treatment suffers, hospitals suffer. Of course America appears to have become so immoral now that there are few chances of it making it the slightest bit of difference."

Yep. You offer to stand right in the middle of a target, to protect a ruthless tyrant. He tells you to go ahead. And yet we're the immoral one?

Others have become aware of the sinister side of what some say they naïvely interpreted as a kind of extraordinary war protest. "I think the Iraqi government is potentially putting us in a dangerous position," said a young Australian who said he had decided to leave.

Yeah, dude. Blame it on the Iraqi government. Certainly I'm no fan of Saddam Hussein, but somehow I think he escapes responsibility for your personal challenge to the theory of evolution.

One American peace advocate recalled a typical march where the Westerners were chanting antiwar slogans and were suddenly joined by dozens of Iraqis hoisting pictures of Mr. Hussein. "It changed the spirit of the march," said a recent college graduate who is one of the volunteers. "That wasn't what we expected."

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Except, of course, if you live in Spain at the time of the Inquisition. He didn't expect that, in Iraq, there might be government-orchestrated marches in favor of Saddam Hussein? Was he also surprised at all that water in the ocean? No wonder these people believe that "It's all about oil" is such a compelling chant. They suddenly realize that there's oil in Iraq, and think that it's a brilliant insight that nobody ever thought of, except them. It's almost unfair to Bush how dumb his opponents are. Doesn't he deserve a real opposition?